Yesterday I had the most incredible and amazing experience and I owe it all to my oldest son and daughter. For the first time in my entire life I was able to overcome a specific fear of mine and hold a snake. But this isn't just your ordinary snake, this was a python. What's amazing about this is that my kids and the children at my son's birthday party didn't have any problem holding the snake, but their parents were very much "I'm not doing that!"
What does this show us? That kids are more daring than adults? Maybe. That kids like strange creatures more than adults? Possibly. What it actually shows us is that there is definite proof to the concept that we are born without fear and that fear is something that is learned.
Where did I learn my fear of snakes? I don't know for sure, but I'm sure it came from my mother who is terrified of them. I have the same problem with most insects (although since I am alergic to bees, wasps, hornets, etc... I think this fear is well founded).
My son and daughter however, didn't show any fear of the snakes, or of the skink, gecko, lizard or salamander that were brought to the party. In fact, when asked if he wanted to hold the 3 ball pythons, he didn't hesitate. He just lept up off the sofa and calmly walked towards the snakes, held out his hands, and thoroughly enjoyed having all three snakes placed into his open hands. I was simply blown away by the calmness of the 7 year old in front of me. The only thing that I was more surprised at was how much his 5 and 4 year old sisters wanted to get up and hold the animals.
Why, as a society, do we throw away this innocense and enable this "fear" of things other than ourselves? I've already written about how destructive fear can be to our lives and our ability to experience new things. I've looked at how fear keeps us "chained" to our lives without allowing us to grow. I've looked at how fear paralyzes us and our futures. But this has all been from the eyes of a grown up who has many fears and continuously works to overcome them.
My children don't have these fears yet. There are some good fears to instill. Fear of moving vehicles is a good one (keeps them from running into traffic). Fear of Mother's wrath (keeps them from doing many things that would really put a damper on their day). But the single one I want to avoid is teaching them any fear that would prohibit them from doing the things they did this past weekend and learning by experiencing something. I want my kids to live life and experience things instead of only learning from TV, books or being told things.
What does this show us? That kids are more daring than adults? Maybe. That kids like strange creatures more than adults? Possibly. What it actually shows us is that there is definite proof to the concept that we are born without fear and that fear is something that is learned.
Where did I learn my fear of snakes? I don't know for sure, but I'm sure it came from my mother who is terrified of them. I have the same problem with most insects (although since I am alergic to bees, wasps, hornets, etc... I think this fear is well founded).
My son and daughter however, didn't show any fear of the snakes, or of the skink, gecko, lizard or salamander that were brought to the party. In fact, when asked if he wanted to hold the 3 ball pythons, he didn't hesitate. He just lept up off the sofa and calmly walked towards the snakes, held out his hands, and thoroughly enjoyed having all three snakes placed into his open hands. I was simply blown away by the calmness of the 7 year old in front of me. The only thing that I was more surprised at was how much his 5 and 4 year old sisters wanted to get up and hold the animals.
Why, as a society, do we throw away this innocense and enable this "fear" of things other than ourselves? I've already written about how destructive fear can be to our lives and our ability to experience new things. I've looked at how fear keeps us "chained" to our lives without allowing us to grow. I've looked at how fear paralyzes us and our futures. But this has all been from the eyes of a grown up who has many fears and continuously works to overcome them.
My children don't have these fears yet. There are some good fears to instill. Fear of moving vehicles is a good one (keeps them from running into traffic). Fear of Mother's wrath (keeps them from doing many things that would really put a damper on their day). But the single one I want to avoid is teaching them any fear that would prohibit them from doing the things they did this past weekend and learning by experiencing something. I want my kids to live life and experience things instead of only learning from TV, books or being told things.
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1 comment:
Great post! I hate snakes as well. "Do one thing everyday that scares you..." - Baz Luhrman. Keep up the amazing work - thanks again for the phone conversation. Talk to you soon!
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