An Incredible and Amazing Experience

Yesterday I had the most incredible and amazing experience and I owe it all to my oldest son and daughter. For the first time in my entire life I was able to overcome a specific fear of mine and hold a snake. But this isn't just your ordinary snake, this was a python. What's amazing about this is that my kids and the children at my son's birthday party didn't have any problem holding the snake, but their parents were very much "I'm not doing that!"

What does this show us? That kids are more daring than adults? Maybe. That kids like strange creatures more than adults? Possibly. What it actually shows us is that there is definite proof to the concept that we are born without fear and that fear is something that is learned.

Where did I learn my fear of snakes? I don't know for sure, but I'm sure it came from my mother who is terrified of them. I have the same problem with most insects (although since I am alergic to bees, wasps, hornets, etc... I think this fear is well founded).

My son and daughter however, didn't show any fear of the snakes, or of the skink, gecko, lizard or salamander that were brought to the party. In fact, when asked if he wanted to hold the 3 ball pythons, he didn't hesitate. He just lept up off the sofa and calmly walked towards the snakes, held out his hands, and thoroughly enjoyed having all three snakes placed into his open hands. I was simply blown away by the calmness of the 7 year old in front of me. The only thing that I was more surprised at was how much his 5 and 4 year old sisters wanted to get up and hold the animals.

Why, as a society, do we throw away this innocense and enable this "fear" of things other than ourselves? I've already written about how destructive fear can be to our lives and our ability to experience new things. I've looked at how fear keeps us "chained" to our lives without allowing us to grow. I've looked at how fear paralyzes us and our futures. But this has all been from the eyes of a grown up who has many fears and continuously works to overcome them.

My children don't have these fears yet. There are some good fears to instill. Fear of moving vehicles is a good one (keeps them from running into traffic). Fear of Mother's wrath (keeps them from doing many things that would really put a damper on their day). But the single one I want to avoid is teaching them any fear that would prohibit them from doing the things they did this past weekend and learning by experiencing something. I want my kids to live life and experience things instead of only learning from TV, books or being told things.

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IT JUST DOESN"T MATTER

Why do we put so much stock in what other people think about us? When you look at it, it's not what other people think about you that matters. It's what you think of yourself that is more important than what anyone else thinks.

A perfect example from popular culture that emphasizes this is the Dursley family from the Harry Potter novels by J.K. Rowling. This family is so absorbed in what other people think about them that they are unable to see the real world and accept it. Not only that, but they actively try to destroy or suppress anything and everything that they consider abnormal. That's just what happens when we all run our lives the way we believe other people want us to run our lives.

Harry Chapin wrote a song about this back in 1978 called "Flowers Are Red." It's about how society breaks down every individual to make them conform, thus eliminating individuality. A beautiful song, but depressing still for what it says about us as individuals and as a society.

More recently, I received an email attributed to Ben Stein (yes, the Ben Stein). It contains the following quote which is very similar:

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

I'm not the most religious individual and I'll admit that I don't believe anyone should be telling anyone how to, who to, or what to believe in or worship, but the underlying idea here is that we, as individuals are cowing to our fears that if we send something even slightly religious in an email, or if we mention religion openly, that people will look down on us, but if we live a secular life, we'll be accepted.

Our forefathers must be rolling in their graves!!!!! They were very careful to make sure religion wasn't forced on anyone by our Government, but not to have us throw religion, or more importantly our individuality, out the window.

Without our individuality, we are nothing.

Without our individuality we will never grow.

Without our individuality we are simply clones of everyone else in our neighborhood.

Without our individuality we might as well just pull up the recliner in front of the television and succumb to the Round Mouth disease.

I AM AN INDIVIDUAL AND IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS I SHOULD BE.

I refuse to give up my individuality!

I refuse to sit still!

I refuse to be just one of the masses!

If you want to see me, just keep an eye out. I'm the one out there in front leading the pack...

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The 3 E's

(This is a slight departure from my normal entry on general self improvement. This is targeted at people who need to make presentations and make them stick with their audience)

I don't care how good you think any presentation you do is, if it doesn't have all 3 of "the 3 E's" you're presentation is flat.

The 3 E's are Energy, Enthusiasm and Excitement.

Let's look at them one at a time

Energy

Energy is a common term in many areas. I learned it in the theater where it's the single most important quality of your performance and probably the most difficult part of a performance to explain or teach. When you have Energy, your audience is drawn into your world. Without it, they're looking at you through a foggy window and will just as soon leave as stay. It comes from truly believing yourself that everything you're doing and saying is exactly what your character in the play would say. For a presentation, it comes from the second E, Enthusiasm and how your body reacts when you are enthused.

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is a a deep belief in every single statement you make. Some people confuse this with the single-mindedness that comes from being absorbed in your subject. Enthusiastic people have the ability to make other people enthusiastic about something. Think of late night infomercials. The Infomercial stars are enthusiastic about their subject. As a result, whether you believe in the material or not, you get swept up by their enthusiasm.

Excitement

This is the most important of the 3 E's of any presentation and the part of the presentation that is lacking more than any other. It is lacking because it's not something you bring into your presentation, but it's something you impart to your presentees. Your job as a presenter has nothing at all to do with the material you are presenting. Your job is to excite your audience and make your audience excited about your subject. If they're excited, they will learn what they need from your presentation. If they're not excited, they won't remember anything except how boring you are.

The Resulting 4th E

If you master the 3 E's, there is a 4th E that results. This is where a change occurs in you personally and you become an Evangelist of your subject. When you've reached this point, people will make a path to your door to listen to you and consider you an elite speaker on your subject. The best examples of individuals who have achieved this level are world reknowned. They are Evangelical Ministers like Billy and Franklin Graham. Businessmen like Steve Jobs. And Self-Help Gurus like Tony Robbins.

People at this level have made a name for themselves because they have mastered the 3 E's within their subject areas. But they are always at risk of the 5th and final E.

The 5th and final E: Error!

When you reach the top it only takes one Error to bring everything crashing down. People call it many things, but it all boils down to "being stupid." If you're lucky, the crash is fast and you can step back, make adjustments, and start rebuilding immediately. Most people who experience Error are able to recover slowly, but there are a lucky few who are Enthusiastically and Energetically stupid. They hit the brick wall running and more often than not, can never recover.

Unfortunately, if you don't achieve the 3 E's, you'll always experience the 5th.

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DREAMING AND GROWTH!

The first part of stretching yourself has to be your dream.

What I mean is: Unless you have a dream that is currently beyond your reach, you will never grow!

Growth as an individual has to come from inside. Only you can do it, and only you can determnie how you want to grow.

Think back to high school or elementary school. There was always at least one person in every class that goofed off. The class clown, or an individual or group that distracted the rest of the class from what the Teacher was saying.

These people didn't want to grow in the specific subject.

Think hard and you will remember the people that could block the class clown(s) out of their mind and concentrate on what the Teacher said. They were typically disliked because they "blew the curve" or received the high marks in the class.

These people wanted to grow in the subject and probably spent additional time outside of class researching the subject as well.

The dream was much stronger for the second group than the first. They had a dream in mind of being smarter, saw a way to realize their dream, and grew themselves on their way to attaining the dream.

Does that mean the other group didn't dream. Not at all. They just had different dreams and didn't see school as the way to achieve the dream.

One real-world example:

A neighbor of ours had a son in high school who wanted to become a Marine. He didn't consider school to be a necessity for achieving the dream so he "slacked-off" and was considered the "class clown." Once he did some research into what the entry requirements for becoming a Marine are he buckled down, earned his diploma, and studied to score a high enough rating on his entrance exam to join the Marines.

He had a dream. Found out what it took to achieve the dream (which was beyond his reach at the time). Then determined a path to achieve his dream.

When I've reached my goal or achieved my dream, then what?

Simple...Dream bigger!

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The Round-Mouth Disease

There is an epidemic taking over this country and possibly the entire world. It's known to very few, and rarely discussed outside of their circles.

I'm speaking of The Dreaded Round-Mouth Disease.

Is it contagious? How do I know who suffers from it? Can I avoid catching it? What is this dreaded disease anyway?

Warning!!! This is a highly contagious disease!!!

Luckily, it's easy to tell who suffers from it. It's also easy to avoid catching it, but once you've caught it, it's almost impossible to get rid of it.

But what is it?

NLB and the 2 MPs have an excellent description of it, but it's a visual description that is difficult to translate to text. The best way to describe it is by looking for it.

On any given night, particularly in winter when it gets dark early, take a drive down the street and look around at the windows of the houses. A majority of the houses will have a faint blue glow coming from at least one window. You can guarantee with roughly 90% accuracy that in that room is at least one individual who suffers from the Round-Mouth Disease. If you were to look through the window (I don't suggest this unless you want to get arrested as a "Peeping Tom") you will see someone sitting or reclining on a chair or sofa staring at a box emitting the faint glow. This person will be sitting with an electronic device in their hands through which the box has enslaved them. And most likely, they will be sitting, open mouthed, with a blank look on their face. This is the sign of the Round-Mouth Disease.

The result of catching this disease is mental enslavement. The box takes control of you and keeps you sitting there. Night after night you return to the box to prove your enslavement.

The Cure:

TURN OFF THE BOX!!!!!!

It's amazing how much of your day is sapped by the box.

Many people in this country turn the box on in the morning before they leave for work. Assume that it takes you 1 hour to get ready in the morning. That's 1 hour of enslavement.

Some people have boxes at work that they keep on. If the box isn't part of your actual job, they you would only see it during lunch and breaks. Add 1.5 hours.

When people get home, they typically turn the box on when they get home and leave it on until they fall asleep. If the person gets home at 6:00 and falls asleep at 10:00 that's an additional 4 hours of enslavement.

Total: 6.5 hours of enslavement to the box.

If the average person is only awake for 16 hours each day, that person is enslaved to the box for 40% of their waking hours, 5 days of the week. Many of them are enslaved even more on the weekends.

Imagine what you could do if you reclaimed those hours and used them productively.

1. Dedicate some time to developing yourself through reading or going back to school.
   
2. Dedicate some time to excercise (If you're a typical human being, you need it).
3. Learn a new skill.
   
4. Spend time with your family.
   
5. Create your own business and develop wealth beyond your wildest dreams!

Recent research indicates that we are more productive later in the day than first thing in the morning. Use this to your advantage, but whatever you do...

To avoid the Round-Mouth Disease TURN THE TELEVISION OFF!!!!!!

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Passion and Determination...The Squirrel and the S.U.V.

Yesterday, my wife learned a lesson from a neighborhood squirrel (see The Nutty Squirrel). The squirrel did something that most people wouldn't ever do. This squirrel risked his life to achieve its goals!

What was the squirrel's goal?

To get a stick across the road? No.
To get the nuts across the road? No.

To provide food for his family? YES!

In achieving his goals, this squirrel was gathering food on both sides of a road. Gathering nuts on one side and storing them on the other. A noble effort; however, not an easy one. This squirrel needed to drag large objects like walnuts and tree limbs over great distances, dodging cars, trucks and S.U.V.s in the process. Each time the squirrel crossed the road, it was risking life and limb. Most of us see these squirrels and call them "Suicide Squirrels" but they are passionate and dedicated to their task. Come what may, they are going to continue risking their life to achieve their goal.

As individuals, we rarely show a dedication or passion anywhere close to this for achieving our goals. But imagine what we could if we did!

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Be the Hammer

I recently saw an auto commercial for an American car telling you not to be the nail, but to be the hammer. In this case, the "nail" is everyone who doesn't drive this car, while the "hammer" is reserved for people who buy the car and drive it.

It's a nice car, and a great idea, but why settle for a vehicle that needs to be advertised on late night television. You never see a commercial for a Ferrari, Lamborghini, or Masseratti on television, but almost everyone knows these cars. Why, because they are the cars of our dreams. The cars we could never afford. The cars that no typical person could ever own.

But the question that's never answered is "Why can't a typical person own a Ferrari/Lamborghini/Masseratti?"

The reason is simple, and it has nothing to do whatsoever with the car, or the company.

It has to do with the person, their dreams, their desire, and what they are willing to do to reach their goals! There's only one thing keeping most of us from driving these cars. Ourselves!

And why do we keep ourselves from driving these cars? Fear!

• The fear of setting a lofty goal and not achieving it.
• The fear of people looking at us and saying "don't" or "stop".
• The fear we internalize when someone tells us "don't set your hopes too high."
• The fear that if we don't achieve our goal, that people will consider us a failure.

The most brilliant and successful people in history chose a different path that can be summed up in a simple statement:

Don't be afraid of failure. Embrace it and learn from it. Then pick yourself up off the floor and try again!

Thomas Edison, arguably one of the most important men of his time, encountered failure every step of the way.

• He failed over 1600 times trying to create the electric light bulb before he succeeded.
• He built machines for the iron mining industry that were a dismal failure, then reworked them for the cement industry and made them into a success.
• His laboratory/factory in Menlo Park NJ burned to the ground setting him back to square one on everything. But he rebuilt and continued.

The key about Edison was that he was never afraid of failure. He embraced it, learned from it, and picked himself up off the floor and tried again.

Edison wasn't the nail!

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"We have nothing to fear, but fear itself!"

Franklin Delano Roosevelt couldn't have been more correct when he uttered that famous phrase.

Time and time again I see people who don't do what they should. I myself am part of that group.

Recently I noticed I wasn't doing what I needed to do and took some time to analyze why. It didn't take me long to realize I didn't do what I needed to do because I was afraid.

I'm not talking about the rational fear that keeps me from jumping into the alligator pit at the zoo or jumping out of a plane without a parachute. I'm talking about the fear that keeps you from picking up the telephone and calling your mother at 3:00am because you might wake her up.

This fear is the single most destructive thing to achieving a goal, no matter how small.

While the rational fear makes you turn from the attacking lion and run, this fear keeps you rooted to the spot, unable to pick up a telephone and call someone.

Why???

As it turns out, over 99% of the time, this fear is a fear of what other people think about you and how that perception may change if you act.

You start to act and your mind, the unbelievably complex and incredible thing it is, narrows in on one single subject. You start thinking to yourself "Right now we're best friends, but what will she think when ..." and you stop acting. You never had a problem talking to her before, but now, you're paralyzed.

This is the same problem that keeps people from working in sales or recruiting. The concept of the cold call where you're offering a person what could be the best thing in the world that could ever happen to them is a virtual impossibility to most people in the world due to an irrational fear.

Let's go a bit deeper...

Assume, for the moment that you have an opportunity to make some money. Not a lot of money, say $50US. But the catch is that you need to work with 4 other people for an hour and split the money. Most of us would jump at the chance, call our 4 closest friends, earn the money and go party after.

What if it was $100,000 and to earn it, you needed to get your 4 friends to leave their jobs and go to work for a new company. Although most of us would want to do it, we wouldn't. What would your friends think of you for trying to get them to switch jobs? It doesn't matter that they all make $50,000US/yr and the new job would pay them $100,000US/yr. It doesn't matter that this would keep 3 of them from filing for bankruptcy. It doesn't matter that the new income would reduce the stress in their family enough to keep them from filing for divorce. The only thing your mind concentrates on is "What will they think of me?" And the only answers you come up with are typically wrong.

So what should you do...

Take a chance!!! Make the call!!! Ask your friends!!!! Keep taking chances!!!!

And above all...

DON'T LET FEAR OF WHAT OTHERS THINK HOLD YOU BACK!!!!!!!!!

Typical Is Overrated!!!!!!!

An individual is a smart person who is willing to do what it takes to get something done.

Until they are corrupted by the masses and made into a typical, everyday, average person!

---

WHY?????

The simple answer is because people need to "keep up with the Jones's."

But if the Jones's just get up, go to work, come home from work, eat dinner and sit around at night watching TV, then on Saturday spend the day watching the "Big Game" or mowing their lawn, why would anyone want to just "keep up" with them.

People should take up the new mantra "Pass By the Jones's!!!!"

I learned a long time ago from some brilliant people just what it takes to "Pass By the Jones's" and hopefully, my readers may be able to learn from me, what I've learned from them.

This wisdom came to me from N and LB (whom I'll refer to as NLB) and Matt and Mark (the 2 MP's), but NLB and the 2-MPs learned it from even more brilliant individuals who, like me, want people to go beyond typical. We all want people to leave ordinary behind and become extraordinary!

How?????

You'll have to come back for that...